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6 Reasons why Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP) Should Contest Elections

17 Apr

Taliban in Herat.

Taliban in Herat. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Those brutal savages and protagonists of international media have tagged the upcoming elections in Pakistan as the ones based on hypocrisy. What if they contest elections…

There are 6 good reasons I can think of

1) With the TTP in the electoral process turn out would be around 90%
Unfortunately, Pakistanis don’t like to caste their votes they like spending the holiday in other ‘important tasks’. With the awe and terror of TTP around maybe we’ll not remain the country with the ‘least turn out’ in elections.

2) Infinite security for polling stations
I won’t make exaggerated and ambitious claims about the fairness of the elections if TTP contest them, but I assume that they will guard the polling stations well. A conducive environment or a ‘must-vote’ situation might emerge.

3) Women might not be allowed to vote
Not a very optimistic sign, but this can prevent confident and strong women like Wahida Shah from coming tot he polling stations and creating humour in something as grave as elections.

4) What if you don’t vote for them?
This might have serious repercussions. Anyhow, facing them would teach you self defence against bricks and hand grenades. This exercise will help you throughout your lifespan.

5) An ‘Extremist Election’
Such a ‘term’ must be coined for democracy to get back on track. Only Taliban are eligible to coin this.

6) They’ll also be representing the students
The word ‘Taliban’ literally means ‘someone seeking knowledge’ or a group of students. According to the meaning, Taliban will be the largest student group in the country to reach polling stations on the ‘election day’.

Note: It’s a satirical post!

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Posted by on April 17, 2013 in Random Scape

 

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